When to use it
Use it when feedback stings and you notice yourself rejecting it straight away.
How to apply it
- Name which trigger is firing: truth, relationship or identity.
- For a truth trigger, ask what they saw and what they suggest before judging if it is right.
- For a relationship trigger, separate the message from the messenger and handle each on its own.
- For an identity trigger, remind yourself that one piece of feedback is data, not a verdict.
- Decide deliberately what you will accept, try or set aside.
Tip: Ask 'what might be right about this?' before 'what is wrong with this?'.