When to use it
Use it to prepare for or reflect on a conversation that went badly or keeps getting stuck.
How to apply it
- Divide a page into two columns.
- In the right-hand column, write the conversation as it actually went.
- In the left-hand column, write what you were thinking and feeling but did not say.
- Look for assumptions and unspoken concerns in the left-hand column.
- Decide which of those you can raise constructively next time.
Tip: The goal is not to blurt out the left-hand column, but to find what is worth saying skilfully.