When to use it
Use it when a conflict keeps repeating with the same people and nothing gets resolved.
How to apply it
- Notice which role you are playing in the current situation.
- Notice which roles others are playing.
- If you are rescuing, stop solving the problem for them and ask what they will do.
- If you feel like a victim, name one action within your control.
- If you are persecuting, state the standard you need rather than blaming.
Tip: Rescuing often feels helpful but keeps the other person stuck; it is the easiest role to miss.